When my daughter, Bella first started having seizures, we wanted answers. We wanted to know what was causing her seizures. Why was she having them, and how could we fix the problem?
Bella underwent many tests. She had CT scans, MRI’s, spinal taps, and endless amounts of bloodwork. Every time a test came back negative, we were left with the question, “Why?” I felt like I needed an answer. Not knowing why was very frustrating to me.
It took me about two years before I began to understand a couple of things. First of all, I learned that about two-thirds of people with seizures do not have an answer to that question. That knowledge was somewhat comforting to me. The second thing I realized was this: If her CT scans or MRIs had come back with a “positive,” it may not have been a positive thing at all. It may have been the finding of an inoperable tumor. It may have been a finding of some incurable disease, or some debilitating illness. We could have “positively” learned of a terminal illness with no cure.
Some people feel that doctors order extra tests because they get a kick back. I do not know if that idea is true or not. What I do know is that every time Bella has a test done of any sort, I love hearing that the test is negative. She has seizures, and that sucks beyond measure. But we have found medications that work for her. She has had more tests done than I have. Her organs have worked harder than mine, yet she is super healthy. Bella’s overall health is amazing. I can say this with confidence because of all the tests she has endured.
Whether the doctors have an ulterior motive or not, the answers to these tests have helped to put my mind at ease. The tests can be cumbersome, but we know she is healthy. We do not know the cause of her seizures. We continue to hope and pray that she can one day take less medication. I am thankful for the plethora of tests. I can positively say that our main focus is simply controlling her seizures. A negative test result is an answer; it is an answer that nothing is physically present. Sometimes the answer we get is not the answer we thought we wanted, but it is, indeed, the answer we need.